Some of my latest insights have come as I have tried to write about depression. As I look back on my early teen years, I can see that I actually experienced episodes of depression back then. These situations were nowhere as bad as they would eventually become but I recognize them as 'situational' depression.
One example I remember was growing up in a family with eight children and finding myself trying to disappear for hours or days at a time. I f I could avoid talking to anyone, I would.
On another occasion, I remember my first semester of my sophomore year at college was extremely tough. My friendship with my best friend and roommate seemed to be disintegrating and our other roommates were less than ideal. I dreaded going back to my apartment at the end of the day and I would stay on campus as long as I could to avoid going home. At the end of the semester, I headed out to take my physics final. I was halfway there when I stopped, turned around and went back to the apartment! I knew it was insane and that I needed to keep going but I just couldn't bring myself to go and take that test. I knew I would never be able to explain myself to my father but I didn't feel like I had a choice, I just turned around. I got an 'F' in that class which is still on my transcript today (if they keep them that long).
I was in high school when my depression started. I would miss two weeks of school in a row at a time. It was not a fun time and I remember just sleeping for the whole day!!
ReplyDeleteUnfortunately I lost a good friendship due to this, we just slowly grew apart.
I didn't know about you and college. I can't believe you risked your dads wrath!!
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