At the end of the fall semester at college I was heading out to take my Physics final. I had walked about half way there to just realize I couldn't go and take that test. In mid-stride I stopped and went back to my apartment, getting an 'F' in the class. I was a good student so that was totally out of character for me but now I realize I was struggling with depression during this semester. I just couldn't bring myself to go to the testing center and take that test. It didn't really feel like I had a choice, I just turned around.
As I headed home over Christmas break, I made a decision that I would not be returning to college. I knew my father wouldn't be pleased but I knew I could not cope. My dad tried tried very hard to convince me to return but I didn't budge.
I wish, here again, that my mother or father would have recognized my symptoms and actions as being those that were similar to my mom's and talk to me about depression. Looking back I am relieved to know there was a reason to my irrational behavior but it would have been a blessing to know what I was dealing with at the time.
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