MEDICATION!!

A huge frustration of this disease is that it takes six to eight weeks to know whether the medication is working. If the first one you try doesn't work, you go right back to square one and start the process all over again. The first time I was held captive by depression, the months seemed to crawl by as the doctor and I tried to get the right medication and the right dose. Finally I slowly returned to a 'new' normal for me. I don't think I will ever be the same person I was before all this happened but I am happy to have found me again.

After a little more than a year, my meds stopped working! I was falling back into the dark and couldn't find a rope or even a thread to hang on to. It took a lot longer to realize what was happening because I told myself I was on medication and this couldn't be happening. I went back to the doctor and we started the process over again. After six weeks and feeling no improvement, I was scared. I was at the airport and I saw my doctor. I ran over to him and the tears started to fall and I started pleading with him to get me a new prescription. I must have been a spectacle in the middle of the airport but at that moment nothing else seemed to matter. I was devastated when he told me I really needed to give it two more weeks. I wasn't sure I would survive two more weeks.

That medication never did start to help but the second one I tried after that started to bring me back to my 'new' normal. It can be so discouraging and yet please believe that there is something out there that will help.